I hate weekends. I don't know why I still wait for it to come all week long.
I don't get to rest at all, I just get more bored than never. Bored and sad.
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
I keep asking this question and somehow I detect its not supposed to be happening this way, like if a conspiracy were going on.
Oh my God I can't fucking breathe properly anymore. I need to find another word for scary.
Am I mentally challenged or something? It would be very mean and disapoing that life strikes to be this way.
I am affraid to find out if I'm really going crazy or if life's actually a bitch, a disapointing sad waste of life.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, fucking shit. It's not anger anymore. It's despair.
How can someone go through all this and still be faithful and optimistic in the end?
I know that there are people in much MUCH worse conditions out there, but I don't wanna take them as references to live my creepy life satisfied and affraid of losing everything i have. I wanna take my shots, not regret in the future.
How do great people, you know, those who "change the world" in every way, how do they take risks and know what they want? It sounds not even challenging, but impossible to me.
I'm just realizing how superficial I've been in my last posts, and I just make such a big deal out of it. I'm ashamed of myself. Maybe, in the end, I'm just another illuded child.